What I've Done?

Eight years ago I didn't know I'd be a doctor, two years hence I wasn't sure I'd even clear the Pre-medical exams, a year later I had joined AFMC, during the 5 years at AFMC I wasn't sure if I'd leave or join the forces, today I don't know if I would be a successful doctor. My father asks me what do I want as a graduation gift, I say I haven't thought about it, simply because I really don't want anything.
I toiled very hard in my final year to get good grades in the exam which I never got in the previous years and my hard work paid dividends. In the previous years I have gone through 'stats', read what is just the bare essential, studied really during the crunch time for exams and even failed once or twice in the internal exams. In short I have lived my college life just like any other "normal" guy. I have gone on road trips, have drunk my ass out, jammed with my band, smoked up, landed up in disciplinary action and god knows what all, never ever keeping studies as my first priority. Yes, the last year I have changed myself because of the notion that it is an important year in the my MBBS life.
I haven't disappointed my parents. They were happy with my grades and everything else for these five years. It's hard not to admit that I have this uncanny knack of getting decent grades despite studying really on the edge. I haven't disappointed my teachers either. I have surprised my batchmates with my result. I have even surprised people from other colleges with my result.
You might think it is totally justified for me to ask for that graduation gift. I know batchmates of mine who were gifted expensive cars, cheques worth lakhs and really fabulous gifts. But I am really not interested.
When I retrospect, I feel I won't be justifying the feeling with which my Dad wants to gift me that. I have cheated in exams, I know in the deepest recesses of my mind that I have not put in my best, I know that I have already extracted 15 odd lakh rupees from my parents for my freedom and most of all I think that is it really such a big deal to pass a graduation exam?
After all what am I after these 5 years? Just a MBBS doctor with an absolutely hazy future ahead. I don't have a job, I am not earning, neither have I earned some status in the society. I am on an uncertain road right now and that road doesn't demand a car or a bike to reach my destiny, whatever it is.