Shutter Island: Review

"I was wondering Chuck, which is worse? To live as a monster or to die like a good man?" Martin Scorsese never fails to impress even with his chilling new thriller. Known for blockbusters like The Departed, Scorsese ventures into the thriller section with his favourite man, Leonardo DiCaprio.
The story is of Edward aka Teddy Daniels who is a U.S Marshal and is called in for investigating the escape of a female inmate from the highly secure penitentiary for the criminally insane, Shutter Island along with his partner Chuck. They soon discover that everything is not what it seems to be while Daniels is continuously haunted by the horrors of his murky past when he investigates on the island. The story rattles ahead with leisurely pace as Daniels is on the verge of uncovering an unsettling government operation being run behind the closed walls of Shutter Island. Then, everything goes topsy turvy.
Shutter Island is a gripping, enthralling piece of cinema by the master storyteller Scorsese which in addition to living up to its genre also delivers some food for thought. Brilliantly cinematographed, splendidly acted and unbelievably unpredictable (not for those who are careful scrutinizers of thrillers), Shutter Island scores on all fronts.
I would have been a bit more happy if the running time was a tad bit shorter and also the unnervingly long climax. But in the end as they say all is well that ends well.

Curls fall Down

I can’t look where I am going,

Into the twilight my shadow’s growing.

Darkness creeps and crawls by,

Ghosts of the past scream and cry.

A glint of metal shines on her cheek,

Like hope in the dark giving a peek.

But looking further I can’t see,

The curls fall down, are they of grief or glee?

Silence ahead, not a sound,

Sure and swish the curls fall down.

And I am happy, I feel no pain,

December it was still felt like rain.

The tears have gone but the cloud’s still there,

I can’t see the sun but the light is there.

A music flows that never once was,

They say it’s love but can I make a pass?

So do you now see?

Groping further but I can’t feel,

The curls fall down, with numbness I deal.

There’s something ahead yet to be found,

But then thick and fast the curls fall down.

Suddenly all the light has come,

The music’s gone and a noise has sprung.

Mercy O Lord! I have fallen again,

The curls are gone and a horror has gained.

For the metal I saw glinting on the cheek,

Was no fucking hope but a killing machine.

And you stabbed it in my eyes,

The loser within me he cries.

Ghosts of the past they are alive today,

They cry no more they just bleed away.

I am numb no more I only reek,

Now I know what your silence speaks.

Looking ahead now I have seen,

There’s a cross that shines with sheen.

Groping further I can feel,

Wreath of thorns and stones on the green.

But yeah there’s something ahead yet to be found,

It’s not the end but the curls fall down.

The Grass, the Beer, the Music

I was poring over the pages of the insanely monotonous Amit-Ashish book reading an even insaner subject called Preventive and Social Medicine. My mind was rattled by "epidemiology, statistics, sensitivity, specificity..blah blah blah". I gave in finally to my continuously rising urge to put on the earphones of my newly bought phone. I hit the play button of the playlist I made just yesterday.
First song: November Rain! I had named this playlist as "Ethereal", full of those songs which really make my hair stand up. Slash's piercing solo just does it all and the lines - "I know it's hard to keep an open heart, when even friends seem out to harm you. But if you could heal the broken heart, wouldn't time be out to charm you!" Oh they simply made me travel back in time. The endless "daaru parties", the roadtrips, the Amberro, the Grass and this kind of music! What a time it was! I remember one of the first times we were having this kind of a party in the bedbug ridden room on 1 mid floor in the AFMC hostel. There we were, in our first year, drinking White Mischief in the dimmest of lights with Akshat Vyas' music CDs playing on an All in One player (yes, laptops ka craze nahi aya tha). And how we boozed out on Pink Floyd and Judas Priest. I clearly remember that Beyond the Realms of Death was definitely played that night. And after that, we put in lit matchsticks into the empty Vodka bottles to trip out on the ghostly glow they gave! Next day, there was some inspection and the officers who came wondered if we smoked!
The feeling I always got after going high is so difficult to put in words. Obviously as the feeling is really felt at the time one is high! There was this one time, after our 5th term Prelim exams, we were partying in my small single room, all of us, the Ganjedis and the Chitedis and the Kukkus. We decided to play the Requiem for a Dream soundtrack and to get stoned by the time it ended, some 45 odd minutes. I put the I-tunes on the visualizer mode, shut off the light and just twirled in the dazzling array of colors it brought forth! So fucking trippy! And then as people told me later I was sitting in a meditational pose! Another time, me and Prabhu smoked up weed and hogged the costliest dinner we had in the Insti Canteen ever! For those of you who don't know, Cannabis makes you really hungry!
Then I left weed for good, deciding I will smoke up once more before I left college. I came down to alcohol. And though it wasn't bad but it is no way better than weed. Reasons:
1. No hangover with weed.
2. No liver damage, nor any lung damage(if you smoke it pure)
3. No addiction(medically this is a fact)
4. Makes you really hungry.
5. Hits fast, fades fast.
6. Most importantly, DIRT CHEAP!
For the next 3 years I was to survive on all kinds of alcohol. Went from Vodka to Rum to Whiskey to Beer and then Rum again. Then came the day, the last time I smoked up, with Sutta Vyas. Silhouettes, our college fest was going on and we decided to hog on the Burger Barn burgers after our weed session. He played this song called Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley and though the song is some 6 odd minutes long I felt like it was playing for 20 minutes! He has clicked some stoned pictures of mine which I haven't got to see as yet. Then we went to the Burger stall floating in the air as we glided over the ground. Yes, I actually felt like flying. The stall was closed! After giving do chaar maa behen ki gaali we headed off to the AFMC adda Snehal. What a day!
And as I write this, I am listening to Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah! The twirling colors, the smell of grass, the taste of beer and the Chicken Manchurian of Insti is all engraved in my mind. And it wouldn't be wrong if I said - "Every breath we drew was Hallelujah!" Truly, college was heaven!

I Hate Luv Storys: Review

Unlike the twisted spelling of the main title, this latest Bollywood romantic flick is pretty straight forward. A guy and a girl, with completely different belief systems fall in love and everything is funny and happy. Popcorn?
Dharma Productions aka KJo pulls off a valiant effort in making a mockery of his own films in this film, the interesting part being that it doesn't bore you too much. The film is the story of Jay (pronounced as J)Dhingra played by Imran Khan, a reckless, charming young man trying to make his name in the film industry under the most popular romance films' director of his age, Veer Kapoor. He is flirty, funny, carefree guy who can't accept the fact that something like love exists. Dil Chahta Hai? Anyone?
On the other hand is Simran (oh get over that name!), played by Sonam Kapoor who is a total girly girly girl, who loves fairy tale romance, the colour pink, red roses and soft toys, not to mention the movies people like Veer Kapoor make. To add to her romantic repertoire is her unfailingly faithful boyfriend Raj (oh yes you guessed it right!) who makes her life nearly perfect.
These two total opposites meet through their shared interests in film making. At first, Simran is annoyed and repulsed by Jay's reckless attitude and his denial that love exists, but then small, funny but interesting things happen between them that makes her fall for him.
But then as predictable Bollywood is, Jay refuses her proposal only to realise later that he too actually harbored love for her. And so we have a candyfloss romance on our hands punctuated by occasional sentimental dialogues, lots of humor and a happy ending.
Frankly speaking, IHLS has nothing great to offer, but I found the chemistry and the freshness of Sonam and Imran heartwarming. The story is very predictable but it has its funny moments and high points. The music is catchy and I couldn't help tapping my feet to the title song. I think New Zealand should have been left in peace, after LOTR nothing seems better.
I would say that this is a perfect popcorn flick, no brains to be taken along to the theater if I may advise. Just sit back and enjoy. For KJo's fresh effort I'd say a 6 on 10? Purely for its time pass!Like Jay says, it ain't so Fugly!

Here I am on the road again!

The car screeches to a halt on the dusty road. The passenger's door opens and I am thrown out of it ruthlessly with my personals out on the road. I taste earth as I have tasted so many times before. Without a pause, the car steamrolls ahead. I get up and crane my neck to look as the road meets the horizon, does the car get a new passenger?
I am weary, tired and sickened by the monotone of the eventful life I have had. This latest car has given me a gash on my left cheek. It is bleeding. I don't feel like staunching it. Oddly, I have a similar looking scar, a remnant of a similar gash on my right cheek. Bemused, I roll up my sleeves, open my shirt, draw up my jeans and I can see what life has done to me. My whole body is a patchwork of scars. Some given by love, some by friendship, some by the so called "professional life" and some which I have inflicted upon myself. I pick up my belongings and walk ahead.
The road as I said is dusty. It is windy throughout the year on this road. I have been going around on this one as long as I can remember. It appears to me like one big circle, though strangely I can never find anything which I left behind or lost. The wind blows it away. Time heals the wounds.
Often however it has happened that I do find lost memories on the road. No, not trampled beneath innumerable feet which tread this path but it's the memories and people that come from behind and open like a new journey on the same road. I have been haunted by these memories and people. How can I go on with something which has given me these scars pretending to forget what happened? Yes time does heal the wounds, but the scars remain. It is so pathetic of my human nature that I tend to accept these unforgettable thorns that once were roses. And it is so much more sissy of me to feel that they actually are roses after I spend some time on this road with them. Then they speed away, they are there like a pseudo image in front of my eyes, but actually they are far away, pretending not to hear, ensnaring some new victim, despite the fact that they themselves are also the travellers of this road.
But I ain't too big a fool you know. They gave me the pain, the scars, the thorns and all they could do to hurt me. Did I just collapse and bleed to death? I have thorns to give myself, gashes to be bled, scars to be carved, smiles to be stolen, pain to be inflicted. I am not just the dust on the road to be blown away by a speeding car, no. I am a car myself, I am the wind.
I hear it, the sound of an approaching car, I wave my hand and the car stops. A beautiful young girl's driving it. I look at her wrist, scarred. I smile to myself, I have a heart to bleed!

Robin Hood: Review

Ridley Scott + Russell Crowe = Gladiator aka a blockbuster, Ridley Scott + Russell Crowe = Body of Lies, again an awesome movie. Ridley Scott + Russell Crowe = Robin Hood, this time it's not so good a product.
Robin Hood as all of those who have read the classic novel know, is the story of Robin Longstride who is an archer in the army of King Richard, the Lionheart who returns to England after his worthless crusade to find England in shackles of aristocracy where poor are becoming poorer and the rich becoming richer. The movie is a narrative of the time when Robin Longstride was not Robin Hood. It is the making of the outlaw, the outlaw whose story we know and that is why the movie fails to connect. The story goes as Richard Lionheart is slain in battle and kingship is passed on to his lesser brother John who is warming the bed with a French princess Isabella. He is betrayed by Godfrey, a French in disguise of an English who has conspired with King Phillip of France to attack the unstable England. England, which has been divided on the inside by Godfrey's evil plans and King John's foolishness. However, Robin's new "father", Sir Walter shows him the path towards true justice and they manage to unite England under one banner and defeat the French on the word of the King that his oppression will end and there will be a charter of liberty which will be passed. In the end though, as most foolhardy leaders do, he burns the charter and declares Robin an outlaw, to be hunted till death.
And so, the legend begins as the last frame of the movie says. Robin Hood is a knowledgeable experience to those who did not know the making of the outlaw. The movie finishes with a promise of a sequel which obviously has to come. The major characters of the film, apart from Robin, Maid Marian, the Sheriff and Robin's gang of outlaws have little part in this film. What this movie lacks is the usual grandiosity of Ridley Scott's movies mainly because of a story which hardly holds anything to keep you gripped. It purely is a knowledge experience more than a cinematic one. The background score, the cinematography, the performances are all good but we have seen much better from Ridley Scott.
I am waiting for the sequel because it is where the story of the Robin hood we know begins. I guess the movie standed in stead with its motto - Rise and rise until lambs become lions! I will go on a 3 on 5 for a completely average movie.

Raavan : Review

Perpetually rainy landscapes, roaring waterfalls, thick forests, some crazy bunch of men, A.R Rehman's haunting score, Mani Ratnam's classy direction and some good performances.. Here comes Raavan, another in the series of the much awaited movies of this year.
Raavan is an interesting take on Ramayan. It is the story of Beera, an eccentric, impulsive tribal from the jungles of Laalmaatee who is revered by the locals and loathed by the Police. An Indian Robin Hood of sorts. The story begins when Beera kidnaps the Superintendent's wife Ragini aka Aishwarya Rai and takes her deep into the forests to ransom the SP and finally kill her. But Ragini's fearlessness and staunch iron heart comes as a surprise to Beera who is feared by everyone. He develops a liking towards her and the story moves on as the Police give them a chase through the forests. Beera tells her of his revenge with the Police and why SP catches up with him, Beera leaves him to go free with his wife. However, things in the end take an ugly turn.
Raavan scores on many aspects. Its super awesome visuals and cinematography hold you in a daze. After Avatar, this was one of the most beautiful picturisations. The score by Rehman is excellent. The actors give a good performance on all fronts.
However where Raavan falls short is the story. The message Mani Ratnam wants to put through has been woven into a very average Bollywood story. The story as it reveals itself fails to impress and you keep wondering if there was something more to it, when actually there is nothing.
The parallels with Ramayan are evident. Ram, Raavan, Sita even Govinda as a potential Hanuman and Hariya as Vibhishan and Hemant as Laxman.
Raavan is an impressive piece of artwork but an ordinary piece of writing. I will go on a 3 on 5 for Mani Ratnam's antiparallel Ramayan.

Raajneeti: Review

"Aap junta ko khaane, paani, kapdon ka aasraa de dijiye, junta kisi bhi rang ka jhanda utha legi". Usi tarah aap film ka khoob prachaar bhi kar lijiye junta dekhne toh aa hi jaayegi. Raajneeti, another big film to release this year truly disappoints!
So what's lacking? Powerhouse performances by Nana Patekar, Ajay Devgn, Ranbir Kapoor, Manoj Bajpayee and a movie directed by a director himself in "Raajneeti" who has previously delivered two very good films; still fail to lift the movie to higher echelons.
Reasons: Well there are many. The movie draws suspiciously close parallels to the epic Mahabharata and Mario Puzo's The Godfather. Prakash Jha forgets that in doing so he is challenging one of the most powerful literary phenomenons and that both have been replicated on the screen with justice. Remember Nana Patekar a.k.a Lord Krishna, Sooraj a.ka. Ajay Devgn alias Karna. Samar a.ka. Ranbir alias Michael Corleone? Too much coinicidence ain't it?
On one hand these powerhouse performances do well and on the other hand you are let down by the equally dismal show by Arjun Rampal (who holds the mike like a rockstar) and Katrina Kaif. Both of them don't know how to speak desi Hindi and Katrina Kaif looks almost robotic during her election campaign!
As far as the story goes, there's nothing extraordinary there too. A bitter family feud which involves politics and ends in bloodshed on all fronts. Nothing we haven't seen before or heard about. There is no good or bad here. Only the strongest survive, that is the only take home message from this film. Rolling in thousands of people in for Viraat rallies in the film may thrill you once but not all the time. Truly speaking there is no punch in the film, nothing that will hold you to your seat.
Though the film has some moments. There are few well written dialogues like the one - "Raajneeti mein murdon ko gaadaa nahi jaata, unhe zinda rakha jaata hai taaki waqt aane par wo bolein". But then these few dialogues are weighed down by the lackluster story and the very average direction.
From a director who has delivered us Gangaajal and Apaharan, I expected something much better. I'll go for a 2.5 on 5 for Raajneeti, purely for the good performances by the aforementioned stars and it's huge anticipation. Expect no blockbuster.

I'll be there for you

Paulo Coelho has said in his book, The Zahir - True friends are not those who come with their sympathy in times of grief. They are the ones who come with their sad faces because they don't feel lonely in knowing the fact that someone else is suffering too. I admire Paulo Coelho's work, but this statement of his, I feel it's way out of line.
Just yesterday I happened to send a poem written by me to one of my friends. She replied with a palpable sense of melancholy. It so happened that she bid farewell to her love the same day knowing the fact that they won't ever be together. I had no idea of the pain she was going through and my poem seemed to have brought her again on the verge of tears. Her life hadn't been going as it should have for the past some months. I apologized for my message though really I had no idea about the damage it could do. I comforted her and told her that she shouldn't cry over the passing of those whose time had come. I knew it was a matter of time. Time that heals and makes it all so fine. Time would take away her pain and she would be happy again. But till then I knew she needed some support. I would give it to her and I did. Never once did I think that - "Oh, she's suffering like I did" and feel content about this fact. I had been through what she was going through and I knew it. But to think that this was a thing to be happy about was very selfish.
Yes, when I am forced to go to someone's funeral or observe a minute's silence for someone who has passed away or comfort someone whom I barely know for the pain in his life I do wear a mask. I make a sad face and do it. Frankly, why should I bother? What's the death of someone whom I have hardly met matter to me? Yes, that is the time I am truly indifferent.
But Mr. Paulo Coelho, though I really loved The Zahir, true friends do share the pain and that too selflessly! I'll be there for them when they need me because I know that they'll be there when I need them. So does the life go on.

Kites: Review

One of the most hyped movies of this year, I went to see this on mixed reviews. Kites is a long hauled project by Anurag Basu which has been in news for the most part because of Barbara Mori. And I would like to add here, the movie wasn't disappointing at all.
The film is the story of two people, an Indian who makes his living in Las Vegas with dancing and occasionally doing some crook jobs like marrying women wanting a Green Card into USA. He is desperate for money. This is Hrithik Roshan aka Jay. His counterpart Barbara Mori aka Linda alias Natasha is a poor Mexican girl who happens to use Hrithik Roshan's Green Card services to get into USA only to become engaged to the son of a wealthy casino owner, Bob in Vegas. The owner is Kabir Bedi whose daughter Kangana Ranaut is gaga over our dancing dude and is kept happy by him only because of his desperate need of money and fame.
However things take a turn when Jay meets Linda at Bob's house where she is going to get married to his son, Tony. They instantly strike a chord and fall in love and thus begins their whirlwind romance. But as all things that explode, this one too is short lived and Jay is left searching for his love in the desert while himself being mortally wounded.
If you read this, you can assume it is nothing but a typical Bollywood romance story. But here is the difference. Firstly, Hrithik and Mori's chemistry is mindblowing. The movie brings forth the fact that love can be expressed in more than words and sometimes it just has to go with the flow, relying on your instincts. Sometimes, the feeling is all that takes. The moments shared between Hrithik and Mori are simply superb. Secondly, the direction and the switchovers between the flashbacks and the real time film are good. Thirdly, Tony makes an impressive villain. Fourthly, Mori is a very very good choice for the film, not only is she stunningly beautiful but also she is not a bad actress. And lastly as I had expected Hrithik delivers an absolute powerhouse performance. I won't say his best but nonetheless amongst the best. You'll love him when he is funny, serious and also when he is in extreme grief. He takes the movie many notches up.
The climax was satisfying if not excellent but I would have wanted to tweak it a little bit, not with an intention to change the story but only to make it more impacting. The background score is damn good. Obviously the movie has its flaws but looking at it as a whole I would say it isn't worth the call.
To conclude I'd say I loved the new duo on screen and I loved the 'on the edge, instinctive and extremely expressive love' churned out on screen. I would go on a 3.5 stars on 5! Only someone please tell me, what was the meaning of showing that line in the trailer - "Love should have no strings attached". It held no relevance to the movie!

Winds of Change

Yesterday evening was a beautiful one. One with a revelation and like a flashlight pointing towards a changing world. Thanks to the unexpected "Laila" marauding the eastern coast, Jabalpur was blessed with a rather unusual evening.
The weather was cooler, the evening temperatures dropped as the cool winds swept through the city. The house inside was hotter than the outside. I took this opportunity to take a break from studies. Standing outside in the open air I felt that sense of euphoria that accompanies so often when such a weather comes around. But there was something that was missing. I was tempted to go to the top of the new hospital building to feel the air. So I did. I went up four floors and then stood on the sort of projection that juts out of the buildings terrace. It was the tallest building in the neighbourhood. After a long time I was witnessing the Jabalpur "skyline". Long since the building was built and newer buildings came up, I had lost this view I was witnessing at that precise moment. The last of the birds were making their way back to their trees. The sun had set and an orangish hue painted the western horizon, the sky a patchwork of clouds that looked as if they were in a confusion whether to rain or not. But it had rained somewhere close by as I could smell the familiar and intoxicating fragrance of earth. I could feel my hair stand up. I looked below. Few years back I could see this sight from the terrace of my house, when the tall palm trees looked formidable on which we scribbled our names with nails, when there was a beautiful garden, water flowed in fountains and waterfalls, when the summer was in the luxury of mangoes, the rains in the taste of the Jamuns, the winter with the guavas and the miniature Japanese guavas, when there was a rose garden in the backyard, when I used to play cricket with the gardener's son, when I was a child..When the mornings and the evenings were the same, when all there was to do was to play hide and seek or 'pittu' or some or the other game. It was another lifetime altogether. And now as I stood on the roof I could see the world around me as it had changed. The 'duniyadaari' surrounding me like an inevitable shroud. I spread out my arms, closed my eyes and felt the smell of earth fill my lungs, felt these winds, these winds of change which penetrated every pore of my skin and suddenly I felt as if I had been reborn, reborn to accept the realities that were facing me today. I knew that the world had changed and so had I, but the sky was the same, so was the wind and so was the feeling that came in when I stood there. And it told me it would always be there to guide me whenever I felt it was too hard to come to terms with the present. I got down the four floors and went back to my desk and opened the page where I had left it. It was time that I turned it.

The Pay-Out Traitor

It was 9^th July 2005. The Pune sky I saw overcast with the monsoon clouds, sent forth infinite drops of the familiar “Pune Piddle”. I was in my car driving upto this college with my dad from Jabalpur via Bangalore. A year before, I had never imagined that I would end up joining the best medical college in the country, for various reasons. However, as I sat reading The DaVinci Code in a reclining seat I knew I had finally arrived. Then, there was no Bhairoba Nala for me, no complications, there I was with me and my future laid out in front of me.

It was in the “Faccha Term” I came to know that for reasons unknown, the autowallahs weren’t familiar with what AFMC was. So was my dilemma as well. And thus we were given advice by our seniors to ask the autowallahs to take us to Bhairoba Nala Police Chowki. It’s an advice which still endures in its authenticity. I still ask the autowallahs to take me to Bhairoba Nala and from there too, straight ahead (they are confused as to whether to go left or straight, mostly scowling upon being asked to go straight).

The autowallahs have remained ignorant but I have not. In the years that went by I have learnt a great deal about this college, its traditions, culture etc. I have followed them, fought for them, had issues with others regarding them and even disregarded some of them. But now, after four and a half years, I can call myself a Kilroy. I have come to love this place as it has been and as it has changed. I don’t regret a bit about what I have done and not done, I believe it was maktub, meaning it was written.

It was my last month there. I had decided that I won’t be joining the Forces. It wasn't my hatred, it wasn't because of the money but it was simply because I had a different dream. And I had been called a traitor, betrayer…had been questioned am I even a worthy AFMCite? It hurts. After sharing four and a half years of everything with my college, I had been labeled a “gaddaar” by those who are too busy warming their chairs in air conditioned offices. What had I done? I had given so much to this place, taken too but never with the intentions of stealing away and I was subjected to this? Many others like me said – “How does it matter?” On appearances it doesn’t but deep inside it does.

Was I running away from responsibility? Was I stealing? People have their priorities. I like most others joined the college because I wanted to become a good doctor. Joining the Forces was an option that was added on when I joined this college. Can’t people just simply understand the simplicity of this fact?

But I am not angry, I am not repulsed; I am just saddened. After so many years I am still led to believe that I am still a newbie. A fresher who is yet to discover what AFMC is. Like that autowallah who still believes in the landmark of the wretched Bhairoba Nala Chowki and who, after spending so much time in that city is yet to know what AFMC stands for. Does it stand for all this? And to mock it all, they still charged me the fee for the Alumni Fund! Ridiculous! Let them live in their little worlds and be happy. I have paid the fee.

Like Everyday

The light goes out at 6.30 in the morning. Its cool outside but inside the confines of my room, heat descends on me like a patient predator waiting all night to have beads of my sweat for an early morning breakfast. I wake up. The birds outside are in a furore. Everyday holds so much adventure and promise for them. I envy their noise. I stretch out my arms trying to shrug off the weight off my yesterday so that I can take on what today has to offer to me.
That's how my day begins. Everyday. I do my routine in the gym, have a long bath (though in minutes I am sweating again and I think what good was the bath?), take my car keys and wallet from the desk, pick up my bag and my apron and head up for breakfast. There's no time for reading the newspaper. I quickly munch on the food, drink my daily dose of Lassi and reverse out the car out of the house to drive the 7.5 km to the hospital.
I know that the traffic will be pathetic even at 9am in the morning near the bus stand. Everyone is in a hurry and almost no one is bothered about the rules of the road. So my hand automatically puts the gear in 2nd or even 1st for that matter. Like everyday. I know the expected bumps and potholes, I know where the thullas will be (though the traffic is actually better without them), I know where I can speed up the car and I know where I am going to park it inside the hospital. Like everyday.
The hospital is not much of a change either.I give the patients OPD numbers, write prescriptions, explain to them that they won't get most of the medicines in the hospital's drug store, listen to the monotonous whine of the medical representatives, take attendance and come back. Like everyday.
Once I reach home, I am sick of the heat. The car had been baked in the sun and even the AC on full blast could do little to drive that heat away. I have lunch and sit on my desk for a date with the buggers who wrote these PG entrance exams books. I invariably have some post prandial sleep but I am able to carry on. By 8.30 in the evening I am thoroughly bored. Like everyday.
I have no friends here. One disadvantage for being away from home for 12 years. There is no one to hang out with. The thrill in life is gone. In college, plans used to be formulated in moments. One moment you would be sitting and studying and the other you might just be speeding off on a bike to a nearby lake. The adventure and the thrill of the uncertainty of the next moment has disappeared. I have nothing to do and there is nothing much I can do about it. I have to study, I have to go to the hospital, I have to wake up early and I have to live each day like everyday. It's killing me.

Why couldn't things have been easier?

Life is complicated. Being a human makes it worse. By giving this body a brain worth 1.3kgs, things totally spin out of control. Constantly thinking, analyzing. What to do? What will happen next? What if I do this? What if I don't do that? And to think of it, they say we use just a miniscule portion of our brain's potential power!
When I am driving on the road, I think which gear to use, where to break, is the speed too much, do I have my license? Things that are in the bigger scheme of things, totally worthless.
When I am around in a public place I feel like singing. My sister tells me not to. Why? Is it prohibited? I want to fart but I can't so I go to a relatively isolated place and open the nozzle. Now no one can smell what the Rock is cooking! I want to drink when I go out to dinner with the family but I don't because I know it is not good manners. When I study I constantly think about what will happen if I don't clear the exams and that takes up a lot of my study time.
When I am thinking about the person I love, things go absolutely haywire. I think what she might be doing. I think what should I write in my next message. I think why isn't she replying. Has she started loving someone else? Does she even like me now?
Think, think think. To what end? I really don't know. Sometimes I wish I was like my dog. He doesn't have to think while peeing on the car's wheels. He doesn't bother what a person feels if he licks them. He doesn't care if he farts in the middle of the room( yes dogs do fart!). He doesn't mind being without a bath for days together. He doesn't mind eating anything below Pedigree. He doesn't even remember who was the last bitch he nailed! Life is so much more easier for him. I envy him.
But then I guess the world has been defined by us humans. I have to live by the rules. Think all the time. In other words be human. I really like that CBZ Extreme advertisement, "Thinking is such a waste of time!"

What I've Done?

Eight years ago I didn't know I'd be a doctor, two years hence I wasn't sure I'd even clear the Pre-medical exams, a year later I had joined AFMC, during the 5 years at AFMC I wasn't sure if I'd leave or join the forces, today I don't know if I would be a successful doctor. My father asks me what do I want as a graduation gift, I say I haven't thought about it, simply because I really don't want anything.
I toiled very hard in my final year to get good grades in the exam which I never got in the previous years and my hard work paid dividends. In the previous years I have gone through 'stats', read what is just the bare essential, studied really during the crunch time for exams and even failed once or twice in the internal exams. In short I have lived my college life just like any other "normal" guy. I have gone on road trips, have drunk my ass out, jammed with my band, smoked up, landed up in disciplinary action and god knows what all, never ever keeping studies as my first priority. Yes, the last year I have changed myself because of the notion that it is an important year in the my MBBS life.
I haven't disappointed my parents. They were happy with my grades and everything else for these five years. It's hard not to admit that I have this uncanny knack of getting decent grades despite studying really on the edge. I haven't disappointed my teachers either. I have surprised my batchmates with my result. I have even surprised people from other colleges with my result.
You might think it is totally justified for me to ask for that graduation gift. I know batchmates of mine who were gifted expensive cars, cheques worth lakhs and really fabulous gifts. But I am really not interested.
When I retrospect, I feel I won't be justifying the feeling with which my Dad wants to gift me that. I have cheated in exams, I know in the deepest recesses of my mind that I have not put in my best, I know that I have already extracted 15 odd lakh rupees from my parents for my freedom and most of all I think that is it really such a big deal to pass a graduation exam?
After all what am I after these 5 years? Just a MBBS doctor with an absolutely hazy future ahead. I don't have a job, I am not earning, neither have I earned some status in the society. I am on an uncertain road right now and that road doesn't demand a car or a bike to reach my destiny, whatever it is.

Paranormal

Yesterday night, I had gone out with family with one of our family friend's birthday treat. Yesterday was different because of the extremely interesting discussion that happened amongst us. We talked about the possibilities of the Higg's Boson being the God particle, the mysteries of space, the power of God, the epic magnificence of the Mahabharata and also something about the Lost Symbol, the Seven Ancient Wonders and medical knowledge. Hardly a party table discussion matter, but nonetheless very interesting.
I don't exactly remember the spark for this discussion but it began with my Dad criticizing the Hadron Collider which has been built by the CERN to prove the existence of the Higg's Boson. He was quoting one of the eminent neurosurgeons of Mumbai who writes for the Speaking Tree in Times of India that mankind's incessant and unnecessary search will never be over. They will find the Higg's Boson, then what? Another scientist will question the origins of Higg's Boson and a new hunt will start but to what end? Instead if the billions of Euros being spent on this experiment were used to address the poverty and hunger and war raging in almost every continent wouldn't it be much better? I liked one of the statements of this neurosurgeon, he said when you perform an experiment you become a part of that experiment. You can only see what the experiment shows. We live in such a microscopic cocoon. There are millions of galaxies and millions of stars with innumerable planets, yet we consider ourselves the masters of the universe. Why can't we accept the being of a Higher Power?
We then talked about the relationship of the Gayatri Mantra to the universe. How Vishwamitra discerned that the sound produced by the millions of galaxies moving and spinning away was the primeval sound Om. And how concentrating to the sound Om we can actually connect to God.
An interesting fact was also brought to light that Aryabhatta's calculation of the Moon's distance from the Earth is just some meters in discrepancy with NASA's calculations. It's really hard to imagine. We, with all the advancements are still unable to grasp the knowledge which was harnessed by the ancient without them. From that I spoke about the branch of Noetic Sciences of which Dan Brown mentions in his new novel, the Lost Symbol which exactly focuses on this power of the human mind to harness it's true energy.
Then from somewhere the topic shifted to the Pyramids of Egypt. The pyramids as many of us know are arranged in the exact same alignment as those of the stars of the constellation Orion. and it is also a fact that when the Orion is directly above the Pyramids, the shaft of light from the stars directly illuminates the place where the Pharaoh's head lies. Truly astounding! There is also a reference in the book Chariots of God that the Pyramids were an alien construction as the rocks and the material used to build them was not in the capacity of the Nile Civilization. Of course, the Pyramids have always been a source of mysteries and legends.
We then spoke about Mahabharata. The epic story of Hindu mythology. It is believed that Mahabharata did happen and it possibly can't just be a figment of Ved Vyas' imagination. Even scientists have found traces of radioactive material in the Kurukshetra wastelands. We also talked about the vast intricacies and linked stories of the epic.
I finally concluded as I have, often before while talking about paranormal things, that there is definitely a higher power. We can't just explain everything on scientific principles. The answer to WHY is never there. The WHY is just there. And it's fascinating. There are two lines which I remembered from a ghazal-
सामने है जो उसे लोग बुरा कहते हैं,
जिसको देखा ही नहीं उसे खुदा कहते हैं।

Harsh Realities

It's been just over 20 days since I have started my Compulsory Rotatory Internship at the Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose Medical College, Jabalpur. What a big name for a college and a hospital that is downsized by the very ethics and purpose it stands! Moving from Pune to Jabalpur, from AFMC to NSCBMC it has been an about turn in my perception of health care.
Where in AFMC I never had to think once before rubbing my hands with Sterilium in the wards, or not touching the newborns without disinfecting my hands, or advising the patients to go and buy some medicine; I now have to think so much! There is no Sterilium, newborns are handled like any other general patient, intracaths are inserted without much thought about asepsis, patients beg to receive free medication, it is all so shaking and true.
The India as it is, has been visualized by me. A medical college where the corridors smell of shit, where patients and their next of kin cook and feed their children in open grounds, where they stand in a line for drinking water which God knows how drinkable it really is! These sights have shaken me beyond imagination and unfortunately I have to just watch it like that. I can't do anything about it. All I can offer is some sympathy and kind words. What do I say to a father whose son has been bitten by a rabid dog and who has come to the hospital on a holiday demanding a free injection? He doesn't have the money to buy a vaccine. I send him to another government run hospital where there might be some hope of getting a free vaccine. What do I do when a newborn is actively seizuring in front of me and the basic medicine required for him is not available in the ward? I just stand helpless looking at the residents and the senior doctors to do something meaningful. The poverty, the helplessness, the lack of resources just overwhelms me.
I guess I am feeling this way because it's just been 20days for me here and coming from one of the best colleges in the country to a place which is like this is really hard to digest. But for now I feel truly helpless.

Orphan: Review

Lot of anticipation went through my mind before watching this flick. I was disappointed though. Orphan is the story of a 9yr old girl who is adopted by a family who lost their third child because of still birth. The girl, Esther is not innocent as she pretends to be and gruesome accidents keep happening where she is involved. Finally the truth is revealed when Kate, her step-mother discovers that she is actually a runaway from a mental hospital in Estonia and is extremely dangerous.
Orphan relies on its classy direction, jump in your seat sequences and brilliant cinematography. But it is totally spineless when it comes to the storyline. Though I could not guess the twist in the end but the twist was a very ordinary and unsatisfactory one. The director tries to fit everything into one disorder that is Hypopituitarism and that comes off as a poor solution to the complicated plot.
The performances are good, especially those of Kate and Esther. But then this is not one horror/thriller flick that you would remember. I will go out on a 3 on 5, purely for its direction, visuals and performances.

A Darkness Descends

How superficial can the world be? As superficial as the smile on a model's face posing for an advertisement? Superficiality is torturing me. When people I consider as closest to my heart are actually the ones who are most distant, I feel like standing in the middle of a cold desert, in the midst of a dead silent ocean, in a room with pitch black darkness..

Writing someone's initials on a hand and showing it to the person that how much I care about him, is just a juvenile way of expressing love, but then so pure. I was reciprocated, loved and mailed for a while only to be cut loose now, hanging by the strands of a relationship I tried to forge when in fact none existed. I am just waiting for it to become my noose someday.

Serendipity has its beauty and its ugly side too. I got her in my phone by chance and became attached by choice, even got attracted only to be bored with it. But then I assumed we were good friends, friends at least if not good. Calling every week to be answered by the voice was bliss, never being called at was disappointment, but now, it bears down upon me like a weight I myself let loose on my shoulders, and now, they are aching.

An insidious onset, rapidly progressive term is used for an acute onset 'illness'. After two years I might call it just that. I came to know her, talked to her, opened my heart to her only to be suspended in a state of confused animation. The silence of the last couple of months froze hard whatever ice we could melt in the last two years. And revelation as it dawned, I realized, I was fossilized in that ice.

And then there are those who are everyday friends. The ones I live day in and out with. Allegedly, they are the ones who know the most about me but sadly they are also the ones with whom I may be the most distant. Sharing the joys and sorrows, love and hatred might have been with them but then the most deepest of emotions are seldom let out through the fragile walls of my mind and heart.

And all this, a product of the superficiality. When the world as it appears is not what it actually is, you know that is reality. It is and it is a fact. And very few disappoint me to that end. But then I have learned to live like that and I guess I will carry on too but tonight as I write this, a darkness descends..

I Saw The Sun/Gunesi Gordum : Review

What does the phrase "I Saw the Sun" mean? Does it mean that one literally sees the Sun, experiences reality, just realizes the truth or is it something much more intricate?
I Saw the Sun is a Turkish film which tries to answer the questions posed above. Set in the times of the Civil War of Turkey it explores the struggles a lone village family has to face while coming to terms with the vagaries of the war. The Altun family is large with many sons and their siblings. One of their sons, Ramazan or Ramo is urging Allah to give him a son as he has had 5 daughters. Finally when he is blessed with one he decides to offer the Gods an offering for the next 7 years. The family is living on the border which is constantly the playground for anti-insurgency operations by the Turkish Army against the guerrillas who are labeled as the terrorists. The army has been urging the family to evacuate the village but they are adamant on not doing so. When Davut Bey loses one of his sons, Serhat, who is a guerrilla in the army operations he is totally shaken and finally decides to abandon the village. Part of the family moves to the comforts of Istanbul while Davut Bey and his immediate family migrate to Norway illegally.
In Istanbul the family faces new troubles as a result of their ignorance of the modern lifestyle. Ramo's wife Havar suffers from gynaecological problems, Mamo's younger brother finds himself to be a homosexual when none in the family are ready to accept him like that and Ramo loses his only son to an accident.This plunges the family deeper into troubled waters and finally, when they can't take it anymore, they decide to return to their village. In Norway meanwhile Davut Bey settles down after some hassles with the immigration office and starts leading a comfortable life.
The story delves deep into the human conscience, between choices and chances, between love and hatred and between war and peace. The director leaves it to the audience to interpret the title of the film as the dawn of realisation or as a concept of the berfin as spoken of by Kadri, the homosexual. Many of the scenes will leave you on the verge of tears and some will actually make you cry. The depiction of the consequences of unnecessary war is not new but the portrayal is ingenious. When Mamo realises that Kadri's fate is not in his hands, when Ramo loses his only son, when Davut Bey finds solace in Norway and when Kadri says that how he wished he would have been a woman; all roads lead to one truth, I Saw the Sun. One may interpret it in ones own ways but the way I did, I just loved it.
I was not particularly impressed with the cinematography though. The scenes were very machinistic. They did not blend smoothly with each other and to that end the movie falls short of the expectations. The music was good but was not properly faded in and out of the frames. I think the editing too needed some polishing.
Nonetheless, the concept and the story was awesome and it is definitely worth a watch. I would give it a 4 on 5.

Sherlock Holmes : Review

Sometimes you go for a movie with a presumption that it won't come down to your expectations especially when you know that the movie is based on a classic. That too the legendary Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. And to your surprise the movie turns out to be a winner. This is one such film.
Sherlock Holmes starring Robert Downey Jr. as the legendary detective from Baker's Street and Jude Law as his companion Dr. Watson is a commendable effort by Guy Ritchie, known to make films with really absurd storylines (Remember Rock n Rolla?). The story centers around the mysterious Lord Blackwood, the movie's main villain who is supposed to possess supernatural dark magic powers whose plan is to take over the world by killing his remaining adversaries from the secret society. The evil Blackwood in the process kills many innocent women and his society members and obviously our Sherlock is called in to investigate the matter. What is revealed is a devious plan to unsettle the government in Britain and subsequently to control the world. Will that happen?
Our Sherlock Holmes here is as razor sharp an observer as Sir Arthur penned him in his books, maybe even better. Some of the analyses will have you clapping! In addition to that he is blessed with superior fighting skills. The flashback slow motion sequences where he smothers his opponents with sheer knowledge of the human anatomy are brilliant. There is ample humour in the film right down to the last frame and thus the movie gives a refreshing mix of action, suspense, humour and special effects. Dr. Watson on the other hand is not that flimsy a character as the Sherlock Holmes books and has a considerable part in the film. Some ardent Sherlock fans may be disappointed with Guy Ritchie's unorthodox approach to the character but I will pardon him for that.
The movie doesn't lag behind at any point and the camera work is excellent. The viewers are almost led to believe that the supernatural powers Blackwood possesses are for real but then are they? And as I finally closed my eyes after the last frame rolled in, I knew I would be in again for a sequel. Well damn! I am game for it! I give it a 3.5 on 5!

Vihir/The Well: Review

Vihir or The Well is a Marathi film directed by Umesh Kulkarni. It's the first Marathi film I have seen when ironically I should have seen many by now being a Marathi, thanks to living in a different state for years!
The movie tells the story of two brothers, Sameer or Samya and Nachiket or Nacha Dada the latter being the elder one. The brothers are deeply attached to each other emotionally. Sameer lives in Pune while Nachiket stays with his family in rural Maharashtra. Sameer however is least concerned with the spiritual aspects of life whereas Nachiket is a thinker and talks about the flow of energy through all living things and the possibility of becoming invisible. Sameer always laughs his brothers ideas off.
The film at many points centers on the game of Hide and Seek and I thought instead of Vihir being the title of the film, hide and seek should have got the attention. The trouble starts when Nachiket speaks of his plans to run away from home as he feels his freedom is restricted. Sameer gets anxious with his brother's plans and actually one day when Sameer is away Nachiket disappears. Their family attributes it to him drowning in the well and even Sameer starts accepting this fact.
However once he returns to the city, Nachiket's thoughts preoccupy him and he sets off on a journey of self illumination and realizes that reality is in front of us and it's only that we never realise it.
The movie sends forth an interesting message which the director has so simply put forth. The cinematography is excellent and it is heartening to see regional films at par with global cinema. The landscapes are beautiful and the performances decent. The only weakness is the somewhat slightly dragged second half of the film but it doesn't get on your nerves.
A nice film to watch especially if you are a Marathi as you will enjoy the humour much better! I will give it a 3.5 on 5!

Landscape No:2 : Review

Landscape No.2 is a slick thriller based on the theft of a painting called Landscape No. 2 and some documents which trigger a long concealed Post World War massacre in Slovenia.
The movie is well paced with liberal doses of violence and sex. The picturization is excellent and the plot novel. The climax is totally unexpected and it leaves the viewer wondering. However on second thoughts it was totally apt. The role of the ruthless assassin is played beautifully however the lead role played by Marko Mandic may have been better with some fine tuning.
Overall a good thriller! I give it a 3.5 on 5!

clear rating

The Candidate/Kandidaten: Review

Thrillers are fun to watch but difficult to review. The problem is that after watching so many well made thrillers it's really difficult to rate them. The Candidate is one such thriller which sent me into a dilemma.
The Danish movie is well paced with really good camera work and a decent background score but what it doesn't score on is the ordinary plot. The story is about a lawyer, Jonas Bechmann played by Nikolaj Lie Kaas who is set up by an unknown adversary in a murder he did not commit which is also linked to his father's murder few years ago. He takes matters in his own hands to search for the criminals while also tackling his troubled marriage.
The movie moves at a good pace with a decent performance by the actors. At no point does the movie slacken however you can guess who the real culprit is. That is it's weakness. Thrillers are a genre which should leave the audience guessing till the end. The Candidate doesn't satisfy to that end.
However, the decent pace, the performances, the background score and the cinematography tie it all together to give one a presentable flick. It is definitely watchable once however for a person who has seen thrillers like Saw, Seven, Usual Suspects etc this one will come down the line.
I give it a 3 on 5 rating.

Antichrist: Review

This is one film I am not going to forget. For all who plan to watch it, this is not for the faint hearted. Be prepared for some grisly mutilation scenes which will have you squirming in your seats. Now, coming to the review.
Lars Von Trier's film is a take on the evil of nature and its relationship to man. The plot is of a married couple who suffer the death of their only child while making love in one of the most poetic love making scenes I have ever seen. The wife played by Charlotte Gainsbourg referred as "She" goes into profound grief and her husband, Willem Dafoe referred as "He", a therapist tries to help her by confronting her fears in a place called Eden deep in the woods.
The movie is divided into 5 chapters including a prologue and an epilogue. The woman goes through periods of severe depression and panic attacks which she tries to overcome with sex. The movie goes on with the husband discovering that his wife's greatest fear was herself and that she considered women to be bringers of evil in this world as evidenced by her opinion on medieval period gynocides. The wife keeps spiralling down the path of insanity and it is shown in the climax of the film that she watched her child jump out of the window while reaching an orgasm in the film's opening sex scene. She mutilates her husband's genitals while also mutilating her own and the movie ends with the husband murdering her wife.
Antichrist is a horrifying display of the evil of nature and its inextricable link to man. The reference to the "three beggars" and their significance to the movie is deep. The movie's title has nothing to do with "anti Christianity" but is a reference to the evil around us and the implication that nature is evil. The woman punishes herself for the death of her child and for being the reason.
The film is brutal, horrifying and truly one that will last on your memory palette forever. I won't advise this for those who are shaken by blood and violence. The cinematography is excellent and the dream like atmosphere tantalizing. The slow motion sequences are especially good. I give it a 4 on 5 rating!

Times of Peace (Tempos de Paz) : Review

Tempos de Paz is a Brazilian film set in the time of the Second World War. The story is about the interrogation of a Polish ex-theater actor who finds himself mistaken for a Nazi by a violence loving Customs official at the Immigrations office in Brazil.
The customs officer, an ex-torturer for the political police, makes a deal with the actor that if he could make him cry within the ten minutes remaining for his ship to leave, then he would grant him the Brazilian Visa.
The Polish actor starts off by narrating his experiences of the War but soon realizes that violence is the very thing that thrills the Customs officer. But in the heart of hearts he too is a man full of sorrow for what he has done.
So the actor narrates to him a verse from a play by a Spanish author and makes him cry, finally.
The movie is moving. You feel that even you can't cry but it fills up your eyes with tears. The vagaries of violence and the lost freedom of the human soul hits one hard. The performances by Tony Ramos as the customs officer and Dan Stulbach as the wacky actor are superb. The last narration of the play is a tearjerker.
Watch it for its clear message about the inner conscience of the human mind. I give it a 4 on 5 rating!

Avatar: Review

When someone has waited 15 years to make a dream come true then one can assume that this dream would be a spectacle. Avatar is James Cameron's epic adventure, almost ten years after his last blockbuster, Titanic. This man has a knack of churning out blockbusters even with a modest storyline and Avatar is no less different.
A completely fictional and fantastic new world is created by Cameron using advanced technology filming with Imax cameras and animated figures. The background is just superimposed on the animations. But what a spectacle! The landscapes of Pandora, the distant moon where the story is set will just take your senses to a new level. The Na' vi tribe, extraordinary beasts, the plants, not to mention the dragon like creatures and the Hallelujah mountains are simply mindblowing.
Add to it the superb performances of a modest cast including Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana and the evil Colonel played by Stephen Lang bring across the fact that Cameron doesn't just want to thrill us with his visual eye poppers.
The story is pretty straight forward but then Cameron is not known for twisting and turning plots. But inspite of that the director brings forth every possible kind of emotion be it love, anger, spirituality, greed and power with panache. It is hard to stem the sadness which fills you while watching the innocent aliens perish under the raw greed of human ambitions. The message sent out by Cameron against war and greed rings loud and clear.
Finally, the last one hour focuses on the battle between the Na' vi and the humans which I had expected to be the best part of the film. But that is the director's magic that the awesome beauty of nature shown in the film just fills your senses unwilling to be riddled with bullets and missiles.
James Horner's score is brilliant as always and falls completely in sync with the mood of the film which was all evident in its trailer itself. The picturisation and the SFX are needless to say fantabulous!
Avatar is a wonderful dream which has been realized. And it is my urge for all those who can watch it to go and watch it in 3D for that's how its supposed to be. I went and saw it in Imax! I give it a 5 on 5 and if I had my way then I would have given it even higher! Truly, Pandora is heaven!

3 Idiots - Review

Aamir Khan always delivers a bomb at the year end, and so he does this year too. An extremely well made movie which runs impressively till the last 30mins. After which the movie lets you down. In trying to connect with the Indian mass and putting through sentimental scenes what Hirani forgets is the big loopholes he creates. The child's delivery scene was a big big letdown. The ingenious engineer and "Aal is well" could have been put forward in a much more presentable and palatable way. Performing a complicated delivery like the one shown in the film is least to say kiddish. After that scene the movie picks up again only to reveal that aamir himself is Mr. Funsukh Wangru. Who on earth earns that kind of money within 10yrs of graduation? Chatur on the other hand is so rich within 10yrs that he owns a Lamborghini!! A bit unpalatable will you say? In trying to squeeze in lot of pleasant surprises by these means Hirani brings down a 5 star movie to a 4 star one. Ofcourse overall the film was brilliant and the performances great. But then you expect even better from Hirani and Aamir. Go and watch this as it is refreshing and may help you form some fundas of life. But definitely "Aal is well" won't help you in turning a baby alive needless to say that it won't start the kind of mass awakening as Munnabhai aur RDB did. That is the Achilles heel of the film. But enough of criticism if I had watched this 5 years ago I would have given it a four and a half. Thanks to watching critically acclaimed English films that I give this a three and a half on five!! But go..go and watch 3 idiots!!

Who is to blame?

Who is to blame?

It’s time for me to take a very important decision in my life. This moment has been beckoning me for the past four and a half years and finally it has made its call.

When I decided that I wanted to go for Medicine as a career I had never really thought about the complexities I’d be faced with least to say, I had never even thought of being in one of the best colleges in the country. When I cleared the AFMC exam, I had four choices; either choosing AFMC, or joining Manipal, BHU or Bangalore Medical College. My dad advised me that I should choose the best I was getting and that was AFMC. I was worried then about the problems of signing a bond to serve the Indian Armed Forces. My dad again told me to worry about these things later and study first. I took the advice.

Almost as soon as I chose AFMC, I and my dad were pounded with questions like – “Why did you send him there”? “You own a hospital, you should not have sent him there don’t you think”? My dad gave the best answer to all these questions – “10 years earlier there was no hospital and 10 years later there is no guarantee that it will still be there”. Period.

Since the very first year and till about couple of months back I have been having all night debates about the pros and cons of joining the Army or leaving it, almost every time reaching to no conclusion at all. Finally, I realized what’s most important is what one wants in life. And that has made me to come to the conclusion that I want to break the bond.

I have a goal. And my Community Medicine text book made me realize it. India is a country where eighty percent of resources are directed towards twenty percent of the population. Especially so, health care. When I was reading my text books I always came across the shattering fact that India is the major playground for almost all diseases! This had my brain thinking. I always used to blame the government like lot of other people. I used to think that the government and its corruption based politics are responsible for the sorry state of affairs. Reading this text book and seeing what’s going on in the real world made me change my opinion.

After all, who is responsible? Who is to blame? In a country of over a billion with nearly a lakh students sitting for medical entrance examinations and a similar if not less number sitting for engineering examinations, the country still has a dearth of doctors and engineers in addition to the dearth of quality health care and technology. A lot has been said about the “brain drain” but then what is being done about it? If you are reading this and you are a student, then you are to blame. I will give you an example. All India Institute of Medical Science (AIIMS) is the best medical institute in the country. Students crave to be a product of AIIMS. After getting in there, one’s career is almost set. AIIMS is an international brand and there is no doubt about it. The students there get the best facilities and infrastructure at absolutely minimal expenditure. Hell, it is even cheaper than AFMC which is supposed to provide everything for free! Yet, despite of having such a bright side there is an even darker side to this story. The students in AIIMS utilize it every bit only to run away to USA and other countries for a better future. This is the trend in most private colleges where students and their families can afford the cost of USMLE or studying abroad and its allied costs. Even in my college, most of the people who break the bond finally run off to the States.

They are traitors. I use this extreme word because they deserve it. You blame the government for poor infrastructure, bad roads, bad health care etc yet you are the ones responsible for it! Indian scientists are making technology outside which is imported by India at a much higher price! Many of the Primary Health Centres in the country are still devoid of qualified doctors. The young doctors skip their share of rural service only to prepare for Post Graduate entrance exams or for better comfort. There are strikes, associations to rally against things like these which are only for the betterment of the country. It is a fact that the progress of India is paralyzed by this bleeding of valuable resources.

I had an argument with a batch mate of mine who is paying out of the bond to go for USMLE. He said – “Tu kya kar lega”? Is desh ka kuch nahi ho sakta. Yahaan koi future nahi hai”. I was furious. I told him that if educated people like him talk garbage like this then truly is desh ka kuch nahi ho sakta. He was blaming the government as usual, I asked him one simple question – “Who elects it”? He was speechless.

If the youth and educated people of this country cannot work towards its betterment then who will? I believe that everyone, no matter whether one is a doctor or engineer or whatever should be an active hand in the shaping of this country’s future. Otherwise it will be left to the mercy of the developed nations.

I am breaking the bond for this. Of course I can serve the country by joining the Army. But my reasons for leaving it are entirely personal. The Officers in our college literally despise those who pay out. Yes they should despise those who run away only to earn better future for themselves in foreign countries but not those who are serving India in no matter how small a way. They should look at AIIMS and the IITs where no restriction what so ever is imposed on this slow leak of talented minds. I personally feel that there should be a compulsory bond in these colleges too.

I said I have a goal. I don’t want to be a famous, rich doctor. No, I don’t need that. I want to go out and help people. I want to take the services I can offer to people who need it more than everyone else. That is my dream. I don’t know yet whether I’ll fulfill it as I want but I won’t be a traitor selling my skills to my own country as an outsider.

Lastly, a word of caution to all those who think otherwise. You are outsiders for the countries you go to. In the deepest corners of their hearts they abhor you as you are stealing what belongs to the people of their country. One day when they don’t need you anymore where will you turn to?

Here I only want to mention the lines I remember from a song from the movie Swades-

“Mitti ki hai jo khushboo, tu kaise bhulayega,

Tu chahe kahin jaye, tu laut ke aayega.

Nayi nayi raahon mein, dabi dabi aahon mein,

Khoye khoye dil se tere koi ye kahega,

Ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera,

Tujhe hai pukara.

Ye who bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahi sakta!”

Saw-6: Review

I saw Saw-6 on the preceding knowledge that it was much better than Saw-5. And so it was. That is the magic of the whole series that despite the same old gore and the number of sequels the series still kicks ass.
The story begins with the scale trap where two people have to donate flesh to tip the scale in their favour. It was an intensely gory screen that had me wincing. As I had expected the story centered around the contents of the box left to Jill by Jigsaw. The box has 6 envelopes and Jill gives five of these to Hoffman to set up the game. The game's main protagonist is William Easton who is a health insurance company executive. He is being tested for his indirect way of taking peoples' lives when they are suffering from disease. This concept is extremely good and the story woven around it is interesting. Jigsaw himself was denied coverage by Easton's company and he warns Easton that he will be judged the same way some day. This leads to series of dangerous traps and the six lessons easton has to learn. The traps involve people associated with William's work.
Meanwhile the FBI is closing in on the Jigsaw accomplice and Hoffman as a tensed out character plays it well. The Agent Perez surprise was great. Hoffman however manages to squeeze out of the situation by killing Erickson and Perez after his double identity is compromised.
The movies moves towards the climax with Easton discovering that his own life is in the hands of the family of a patient he refused cover. This was a great twist as all the time the audience is led to believe that the family is Easton's family. Easton dies brutally after being injected with hydrofluoric acid and his journalist sister watches him die.
The 6th envelope turns out to be for Hoffman himself and he is trapped in the reverse bear trap by Jill for his insensitivity towards the human body and Jigsaw's assessment whether he has what it takes to survive. We knew in Saw-4 that he would be tested at some point and this is it. However Hoffman manages to partly break free from the trap by smashing his hand and preventing the trap to open fully by pushing his head in a window. The movie ends here with the familiar Charlie Clouser score.
Saw-6 answers many of the questions left unanswered. Especially Amanda's story and how she was set up by Hoffman. That was a good one. It also reveals Jigsaw's grand plan for the health insurance companies and the reasons for it.
Kevin Greutert lifts the standard by many folds from the dismal Saw-5. The visuals are great and though the traditional score at the end is a bit modified it still fits the bill.
The stage however is all set for a seventh film as Hoffman has survived and there's a scene where Jill delivers a thick envelope from the box Jigsaw left her to an address which is not shown in the film. I give it a three and a half on five. The Game has again, just begun!